Caelestis Ignis
by Cinnamon Angel
Summary: One-shot. The Draco constellation shines high in the sky while a girl reflects on Draco Malfoy's suicide. Thoughts of another falling dragon.


A/N: this is a standalone one-shot I wrote this morning around 2 am. I suddenly got inspired and this is what came out. Thank you for reading, thank you for reviewing. The comments at the end are Fire'N'Ice's, like always, she just sent it back now. Well... Read on!  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Caelestis Ignis  
  
He had done it. Everybody had been shocked at the news. Dumbledore had risen gingerly from his seat for the beginning of the year speech and told us in a cracked voice that one of us had decided to end it all this summer. He started to ramble, about anything and everything, not daring to give a name. And he toyed with words full of despair and sadness before letting go of the identity of the student that he had lost.  
  
Draco Malfoy.  
  
I looked around me as I hear his name spoken. Most of the people around me didn't know how to react. For most of them, he was a nightmare, me included. Some of the Slytherins charged their gaze with contempt. Surely they were considering his weakness. As for myself, I didn't know what to think. My mind was wandering around, slowly realising that he wasn't there anymore.  
  
The cold breeze strokes my cheek and freezes a tear. I don't know why I cry, all alone up that stupid astronomy tower. I hated him. With all my heart. He had always been mean to me, to my brother. Hermione and Harry, part of my family, were always the object of his taunting. I hate him and he's on my mind. And I cry, for him, for life, for everybody who committed suicide before him. I gaze up at the sky. The constellation his name was taken from shines brightly in the sky, among the thousands of stars.  
  
Mum used to say that people who had died were now the stars across the sky. I wonder which one Draco is. The boy held in darkness is now a star. I soon don't see the stars anymore. The tears have been welling in my eyes. The knot in my stomach has tightened, now accompanied by a ball in my throat. I breathe hardly and with difficulty, shivering with cold and with an unknown fear that eats me inside. I clutch the banister with all my strengths, all my pent up anger.  
  
Why did he have to do it? What was he trying to escape from? What cornered him on the edge of the cliff-hanger? I don't understand. He was known to be a fighter. Always getting what he wanted and easily battling his way through his Hogwarts years. He was always in control of everything. Cold, a rock in the tempest of emotions that overwhelm other teenagers. Nothing could hit him, nothing could break him.  
  
"Why?" I slowly whisper, closing my eyes and biting my lip. Another voice answers softly.  
  
"Because he was alone to fight. Because he never let anybody in."  
  
I'm a bit startled at first. But soon I see Dumbledore stepping out of the shadows.  
  
"Good evening, Miss Weasley. I see that I'm not the only one to seek peace." He sighs and comes to stand next to me while I wipe my tears away. He looks older than ever. I'm silent. I can only wonder what Dumbledore is talking about. I want to question him, but the words are jammed in my throat, my words don't want too get out. I hope he continues... and he does.  
  
"I saw nothing. Nobody saw anything. For us, he was another kid we had lost to Voldemort. He had never shown a hesitation on the path he would follow. He had never given us a hint that he didn't want to become what his father was. But the truth is he never had somebody to trust. Because we cast him in the role he was trying desperately to get out of. Because we never understood what the anger emanating from him meant." He sighs again and directs his gaze to a constellation. The constellation I'll stare at differently for the rest of my life.  
  
So he was alone. I am alone too. Ever since the Chamber of Secrets, people have looked down at me with fear and disdain. I piled up the bricks of my shame to build walls and let nobody in. so I'm alone and let nobody in. The sense of these words suddenly dawn on me. I'm like him. I've been for years. And the spiral I'm falling in will lead me to my destruction. I don't know how I feel about that. I hurt when I think about Draco. I turn slowly to Dumbledore and choke on my words. My voice is broken, I stammer, I'm sobbing.  
  
"I'm like him. I'm exactly like him."  
  
Suddenly I understand why I cry, I understand why I can't hate him. Because he's my reflection in the mirror. A shattered mirror is the only thing that separates me from him.  
  
"Miss Weasley." I have to dry my tears again before being able to look at Dumbledore's face again. His blue eyes gaze at me intently behind his spectacles.  
  
"Miss Weasley. Don't be another broken dragon. Don't trap yourself behind your walls, don't be afraid to give and to receive."  
  
He leaves, shuffling his feet. I gaze once more at my constellation. Yes, it belongs to me now. I don't want to die. I don't want to follow Draco's footsteps. But I know the only way is to separate my road from his.  
  
I go back to the common room. I can hear the whole Gryffindor crowd through the portrait. Life goes on. I take a deep breath in front of the concealed entrance and pronounce the password. "Caelestis Ignis". The Fire of the Sky. I glance back and spot my constellation shining through the dirty windows of the hall. Its spirit protects me. He protects me. I smile and step toward my battle.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
OMG!!!!! Ok, I should stop crying before I try to get on with this..... oh wow. Our Draco..... our dragon. I can't even. *deep breaths* And Ginny's thoughts, they're just insanely good. When she realizes she's like him... and all the talk about being alone. Being alone is scary, so damn scary. You know what Ginny needs? A twin. Fire of the Sky, I love that. Ginny needed a protector, and who better to do it? This is really great :-) Dumbledore is so smart. I want a Dumbledore, one that won't send me away to evil relatives, of course. Sorry, lol, trying to lighten the moment seeing as I'm still crying. You know what I want to say? It's so cliché, but it's the only phrase that I can manage... this touches me. You know, right in the stomach? Struggle does too, but this hits a different place, with all its talk of loneliness. Amazing job.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Well... If you liked it, let me know... 


End file.
